fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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