party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
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I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
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someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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