i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize