Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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