In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize