omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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