I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
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I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
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I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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