Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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