Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize