ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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