If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize