very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
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He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
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Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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