if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize