last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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