You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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