I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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