It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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