you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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