Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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