Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
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You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
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I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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