Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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