good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize