Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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