I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
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Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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