best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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