I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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