we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize