I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
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Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
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I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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