Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
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Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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