I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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