Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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