So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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