I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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