respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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