I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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