I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize