its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
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i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
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would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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