true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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