They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize