That's intense
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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