eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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