I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's official drugs can't kill me
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize