another moral hangover. fuck.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
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he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
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My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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