Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
COCAINE IS GR8
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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