I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
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Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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