Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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