reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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