I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize