so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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