Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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